I always knew wanting needing someone to love me was too much to ask.

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Current Mood: alone

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Hey girls and guys,
Feeling okay today. I did binge though but if I think about it I will only cut myself, sooo
I have been keeping myself busy with youtube beauty review videos, going through japanese magazine scans and using my Lush face mask (yummy smell) It's Saturday now...nearly 2:30am. On Sunday I have to go to dinner with my boyfriends family..eh, I think I have to allow about 800 for that, I HATE suspicion, But today I am just going to finish up my fruits and veg that are going to go off soon and keep to around 400 cals all vegan and hoping to go for 75% raw.
I shall update how it all goes.
xoxox

*These are my ideas and notes and don't officially represent the cooperative that's currently forming around the creation of FG!*

Integrating 3 paradigms/Business Models:

1. Paysite. The general public pays for subscriptions. That money goes into the company bank account, which is used to pay operating expenses, admins and workers.

2. Model-Controlled Porn Site. Models can log in to their individual profiles and change their information, upload sets and make other changes as desired to their own material. Models may remove their own sets as well periodically. FG may, in that event, elect to buy the set or video permanently with the consent of the model. If and until that time, models own and control their content.

3. Worker-Owned Cooperative. Models receive one share of company stock for each set they upload. Models are able to vote on all matters of importance to the collective, including choices in expansion and upgrades, payment methods and amounts, electing an advisory board if desired, etc.

Questions:
-pay a fee for the sets and videos and allocate shares according to number of sets uploaded?
-One vote per worker or one vote per share?

Needs:
-A system allowing models to upload material and edit their personal profiles without having -access to any other parts of the site or other models' materials.
-A plan for quality control should the site grow beyond our ability to achieve consensus and organic internal regulation.
-Legal info on worker owned cooperatives
-Legal info on pornography's legal requirements
-Our morals/values and whether we contribute to charity (for worker/economic rights?)

Our Style:
Looks & talks like a mainstream site but with an edge. More like the (new) NoFauxxx and Buck Angel than Vegporn or ManicJane.
We accept Trans, Kinky, Taboo and Experimental Porn. The emphasis is on hardcore, not pin up, but both are accepted. We have lots of erotic stories. We focus on video at least as much as stills if not more.

Values towards workers:
-Workers are #1. Models are respected, responded to, given suggestions for improvement of their own modeling, art and photography rather than dismissals or rejections. Models own their content forever. Models control the company and help it grow in order to make more money. We understand that models are workers and have economic concerns and do not expect models to model for us simply because they believe in what we are doing. We don't require models to convince us why alt-porn is important to them before they can model.

-We support strange, ritualistic, taboo, and unusual porn up to the line of legality. We want to become a resource and a retreat for those who are interested in these topics and types of porn.

-we want to have mainstream appeal and lots of hits. we want to make money for our workers and ourselves. We want to, in this way, use porn as a vehicle to make worker ownership a more widely understood, familiar, interesting and possible model. Conversely, we could use our business/labor model to make model-controlled porn, and the diversity and liberatory possibilities of sexuality, relevant to other worker owned cooperatives, activists and workers in general.

Tags: porn, queer

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 Have yiu guys ever ate normal for 2-3 days then gone back to restricting and stuff? have you lost weight that way i feel like it works any input?

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I had really bad PTSD 2 years ago and have since "recovered". I don't know if it ever goes away, I get episodes about once every several months now so my life is pretty much back to "normal" and it's nothing like it was.

I was prescribed .25 mg xanax for panic attacks. I think some people take them daily? I was to take it just when I had panic attacks.

A few weeks ago I got 3 nightmares in a row.. PTSD relapse.. so I took a xanax the 4th night to break the chain and it worked. I'm getting nightmares again and want a xanax.

Is this an acceptable way to take xanax? I don't want to abuse it and I'm way sketched out about the drug itself. Should I see a psych for some kind of different medication for nightmares? I used to be on celexa, and that blocked nightmares.. but I switched from Target celexa to Rite Aid celexa and Rite Aid celexa told me to kill myself so that stopped.. lol.

I guess I just want somebody to tell me that this is okay, or is not okay, or that I should see someone.. since I have been out of counseling and seeing a psych for 2 years. Thanks guys :) I used to post more 2 years ago during these really rough times and this community is amazing.